Boundaries: What Are They?
Boundaries are imaginary fences that separate your space, feelings, and
needs from that of someone else. The purpose of boundaries is to have fair
rules for engagement in relationships. As a result, you and the relationship
are both healthier and happier.
Though the name “boundaries” may sound like a rigid separation between
you and another person, good boundaries are often flexible and promote
more fulfilling relationships. If boundaries are not flexible, they can drive
people away and cause resentment. For this reason, boundaries should be
flexible.
Here are the most important features of boundaries:
- Flexible
- Protects your well-being
- Acts as rules of engagement for your relationships
- Negotiation between two or more people
Boundary Types
There are different types of boundaries that apply to specific situations.
Here are the six types of boundaries: - Material boundaries are boundaries that relate to your physical
property, such as a car or a book. They determine how you interact,
lend, or sell your property. - Physical boundaries relate to your space, privacy, and body. They
determine things like who you feel comfortable hugging or how loud
you want your roommate to play their music. - Mental boundaries relate to your thoughts, values, and opinions.
They allow you to not get angry whenever someone disagrees with
you. - Emotional boundaries distinguish your emotions from someone
else’s emotions and force you to take responsibility for your emotions. - Sexual boundaries allow you to feel comfortable and safe during
sexual touches and activities. They determine what, where, when,
and with whom you have sexual interactions. - Spiritual boundaries involve your beliefs in God or another higher
power. They also determine how you interact with people of different
beliefs.
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